Tag Archives: reality

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You Love It

Categories: Poems, Tags: , , , , , , ,

 

yell

How words chosen precisely to wreak maximum damage ticked like a bomb in your head, but exploded in your heart hours later, leaving you scarred and changed.”

~ Justina Chen, from North of Beautiful

You Love It

When I’m down &
can’t seem to find
my way around,

When I lean on you
for who else is there,
& you laugh & entangle
your will through my hair

& it’s no crown of daisies
but it’s a really good lie,
To cover up the reasons
I break down & cry

With this weight like a chain
pulling me tight,
& I lose my ground
& I give up the fight

So long ago you claimed
no one really cared,
That they’d all turn away
so I could leave if I dared.

In prayer I sought help
& called out in the night,
But no one responded
so I guess you were right.

& I know how you love
to see my world broken,
& the way that I bleed
from things that were spoken

Now quiet I walk
down the hall & shut the door…
I never bother to call
or search any more.

-Heather Lenz

2015

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in the pink

Categories: Poems, Tags: , , , , ,

Starring PINK

 

in the pink

flesh in a plastic cup. let pink petals fall forever.
the machines tick & click like wayward clocks-
every woman
reeks of fear.

here in a flowery robe, i gaze at magazine covers-
the women with full breasts smile in their youth.
others dress casually, assured in their poses

that all the recipes in the pages
will fill up your every desire & win over
lover & guest.

they don’t know who is looking at them.
who envies them enough to want to spit
at the calm fake candles glowing with
spa-like radiance.

glow. images on the machine glow.
i watch the blacks & whites move
as the magic wand
presses against me.

they are like ghosts & phantoms
dancing together. laughing crazily
from too much excitement.

now at home it’s raining. past 2 a.m.
i am tender & obscure.

i wish there were a friend to call.
i wish my family knew me well.

i wish i could feel the hard weight
of a good man linger

in all this tenderness.

-Heather Lenz

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Twisted

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Categories: Poems, Tags: , , , , ,

No help provided, the sick things uninvited,

the way to save my mother or call upon my brother.

Panic attack at 4 AM, and I can no longer feel who I am.

Clouds rush in like demons to laugh, and exhaustion is the aftermath.

Here is your past, take it at will, and be condemned for taking a pill- that stops the thoughts from racing so long, as you stand there and smoke in your bra & thong.

Can’t leave the house, someone might hurt you- after all your own dad did desert you.

Be afraid of the will of the doubt- strangle it all and muffle your shout.

You’re not worth saving- and not many care- so go to sleep and cuddle the air.

Dead is dead and this life is a race- for the fastest car or the prettiest face.

A joke to be told and Jesus weeps- that he actually hung on the cross for us creeps.

What good is art without an eye, what good are these lines when you sit there and die…

~Heather Lenz

 

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The Dream Slips

Categories: Poems, Tags: , , , , , ,

 

011/365: Back on the motorway.

Inside the palace of winter
I wished for your hands to touch my face,
Inside the wall of stone
I begged for the feel of the open space

Where we could run from kings
from governments and lords,
With savage bodies free
not wounded by their swords

To live in the passions of wild love
and sleep in the infinite birth,
Of warm and vibrant seeds
sifting within the earth

Where the night is welcomed by fires within,
and the rain brings a tender gust,
To leave behind the merciless gates
That flood with blood and dust

All this I dreamed within my dream
but woke inside a cage,
Where golden sun and silver chains
had choked my heart with rage

And saw your eyes all cruel and sad
and sexist in their way,
And cursed the world that made you mad
And damned the dawning day.

~Heather Lenz

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