Tag Archives: life

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Journal Entry 5/29/2010

Categories: Journal, Tags: , , , ,

YummyLOVE LIFE

Saturday May 29, 2010

There is a white butterfly flying around my deck today. It is extraordinary.

It seems I am starting to miscarry. I am more hurt for Jacob than anything. He sobbed so profusely when I told him.

This is the third time in my life this has happened. This morning I awoke and started weeping. I almost made it past the first trimester. I think it is more stress-related than anything. There has been way too much stress lately. Just when I thought things were calming down.

I am so blessed and thankful though, that the lump I felt in my left breast turned out to be benign. I thank the Lord for this.

Bobby and I might try for another baby once everything clears up. Jacob wants a sibling so very, very much.

~Heather Lenz

 

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The Dream Slips

Categories: Poems, Tags: , , , , , ,

 

011/365: Back on the motorway.

Inside the palace of winter
I wished for your hands to touch my face,
Inside the wall of stone
I begged for the feel of the open space

Where we could run from kings
from governments and lords,
With savage bodies free
not wounded by their swords

To live in the passions of wild love
and sleep in the infinite birth,
Of warm and vibrant seeds
sifting within the earth

Where the night is welcomed by fires within,
and the rain brings a tender gust,
To leave behind the merciless gates
That flood with blood and dust

All this I dreamed within my dream
but woke inside a cage,
Where golden sun and silver chains
had choked my heart with rage

And saw your eyes all cruel and sad
and sexist in their way,
And cursed the world that made you mad
And damned the dawning day.

~Heather Lenz

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The Regulars

Categories: Poems, Tags: ,

 

Waitress

One day these timber walls will burn
and I will proudly say,
“I will no longer sit alone
inside this sad cafe”

For I have seen a head or two
bent down on those tables,
I have seen those sullen lips
drink up all their fables

What has called me to this place
where plates are empty of cheer,
And the rumors turn round and round
changing every year

With every season burning slow
like a ripe old man’s cigar,
Set in a twisted movie script
where everyone is the star

And one creeps up to center stage
to announce their well-earned wounds,
While the rest bang the tables
with empty silver spoons

As the waitress wears a smile
an experienced cover for gloom,
Announcing the daily specials
while she scurries around the room

If I had a match I’d do it myself
for this place should soon be gone,
Then the cobwebbed corners will fall
and the regulars will move on.

~Heather Lenz

this poem first appeared in Poetic Hours

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Starvation

Categories: Poems, Tags: , , , ,

You left me, in a dark hole
Waiting
for my bread and water

You cast me out of the Holy Land
with Songs of Solomon scratched
from your eyes

I looked up, blinded by the sun
The dust rose to my lips, turned them dry

And the birds that flew
became carcasses of steel
as the night poured salt-water rain.

~Heather Lenz

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Disassociation

Categories: Poems, Tags: , , , ,

 

Sailor Bay, Middle Harbor, Sydney

Do not rediscover me, old flame,
my heart has left your overrated claim
And do not send your flowers to my door,
I do not need or want them anymore.

No, do not recall the memories so sublime,
if in haste you wish to call, put far away your dime
No, do not send the lovebirds out to soar,
I do not need or want them anymore.

Through my life I now do make a trail,
I fight the storm and overcome the hail
So stay away on your own distant shore,
I do not need or want you anymore

Times have changed and for the most of good,
I have burned the wet and rotting wood,
So sit alone upon your unswept floor,
I do not need or want you anymore.

~Heather Lenz
this poem first appeared in Stepping Stones Magazine (print)

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